Monday, September 12, 2016

stress and a lack of fun

This summer, which, by the way, is now over, was the summer I became an insomniac. I slept an average of 5 hours per night, which is not enough for my brain and body. I have no idea why, be it travel, change in routine, crappy sleep habits, too much screen time or what...
Once work started up again in August, I started monitoring it more closely, and lo! I am at least getting 6-7 hours per night, which is about the best I can do right now, and a considerable improvement upon the summer's slumber.

Work has gone to hell, for a huge variety of reasons I'm too professional to go into here, at the moment. Maybe later, kids...suffice to say, I'm not digging the job, the schedule, the way things be. It's early in the school year, and I'm committed to riding it out, but the view from here means I'm thinking of taking transfer paperwork, to look around for another school site. I won't go into a transfer lightly; I'll do my homework, and research the hell out of any admin and school site I apply for. But I just don't want to feel like I don't have choices in how I work out my days.

Some good things...

I have been meditating, early in the mornings, when I first get up, using this little app on my phone to help me out. I like it. It's free, and friendly, and I like to think the effect is cumulative, and that over time, the stress will not take its toll, and I'll be able to roll with things.

I'm trying to get my share of outdoor time, exercise, St. John's Wort, to combat the slow creep of depression that comes with the shortening days. Meh. I have been running off and on, with recurring un-running-related complications: allergies, flu, ongoin rotator cuff issues. So I keep starting C25K over and over, going to the gym and running on the rubber track because it's still freakin' 93 outside each day! I'm hoping something breaks through, energetically, soon. The heat, it is oppressive.

This is not a happy post, I realize. I'm just trying to document how it feels to go through a doldrum period; the slog, the feeling of "is this all there is?"

I need to have some FUN, dammit.